Jan 10, 2011


We all know that when you have children things change. One of the biggest changes that I didn't know or expect was friendship. I'm a stay at home mom and my wife and I have been together for a long time. It took us a while before we decided to have children. We figured that we would wait until we were financially ready but the truth of the matter is that you can never be financially ready for kids. Our children are 17 months and through those months we realized that not many of our friends are around any longer. It is tough enough being a lesbian couple but when your support system gets depleted or is not necessarily there in times of need it is definitely a bit tougher.  It is not that all friends are completely out of your lives but more of a diminished contact which may just be due to the fact that things change and your not the partying couple or person that you used to be prior to having kids.  It may just be due to the fact that they may feel we no longer have anything in common.  Either way it feels strange.  Even in common conversation there is a feeling to have to sometimes edit and not talk so much about the kids.  When an event occurs there is no longer an invite from people but more of an assumption that we just can't go.  Most of the times we can't but they would not know of the times we in fact can unless they ask. So the question is, What do you do, try harder to remain that friendship or do you just move on?

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